Tuesday, September 30, 2003

I turned on the TV this morning and there was a story about Presidential candidate Howard Dean and how he is using the 'Net to lure voters. Charlie or Diane used the word "blogger"to refer to someone in the Dean camp who posts his experiences with Howard Dean online.
Now I suppose the Bush camp can't wait to present their own blogger;next comes Ahnald and Bustanut in California. I can see Katie Coric (she's related to a sprite BTW) "...and blog, blog, blog. Then the Blogger put his blog in my blog and I got all wet".

Bush Camp? Hmm that sounds fun. My new bumper sticker reads "I spent my summer in Bush Camp!" I think we need to send our wives/gfs/love slaves to Bush Camp- maybe some extra training is just what the doctor ordered. The sign at the gate to Bush Camp reads- "At Bush Camp -we don't beat around the bush!"

Politics-I guess we will soon be saturated to the point of screaming with political BS. I used to think it was important to get involved but after the attempted coupe of Bill Clinton, I see politics as a large black hole populated with con men, grifters, cheap whores, groupies and hangers-on. It 's a lot like pro wrestling- there's a good guy, a bad guy and the fate of the world rests on your vote.
American Presidential politics boils down to this: All potential candidates are from the same social class. They all went to Harvard or Yale or Princeton. They are part of the Power Elite as C. Wright Mills put it. Democrat/Republican means nothing. It's a convenient product labeling system much like Coke or Pepsi. Whoever is elected will guide the country slightly to the Left or slightly to the Right without much upset. The key here is the ability to guide the country without upsetting the Status Quo. This is why Ralph Nader will never be President nor will Al Sharpton. They represent too much change too fast and that is not good for the Status Quo. The trains must run, the condom machines have to be filled and the sweet, sweet profits have to flow.

Well, I am stepping off my soap box- What's next? I watched Martin Scorcese's Blues special last night and was pretty impressed. This was the one with Blind Willie Johnson, J.B. Lenoir and Skip James. I didn't see enough of Blind Willie Johnson- I missed the first 15 mins. The part about Skip James was cool! I don't know how they filmed it but it was like you were watching his 1931 recording session where he cut 18 or more songs. I am looking for some Skip James records now. I was really impressed with his style.
Blind Willie Johnson - I got a good story about one of his records. In 1985, my wife and I lived in Nashville, TN and we were dirt ass poor. We were so poor, if I didn't wake up Christmas morning with a hard-on I had no toys for Christmas!
Anyway, our broke asses were at a Salvation Army Thrift Store and we were about to leave when Faye handed me this 78 RPM. She said "Who is Blind Willie Johnson?"
I said " Don't know but I'll take it." I recognized the Columbia D series serial number and went to the desk. The lady said "one dollar" and that's all we had left. We spent our last dollar on a Blind Willie Johnson gospel/blues record and I never regretted it.
It is one of the high points in my record collection.
Anyway, the Blues series is on tonight with BB King if you are interested. That's on Public TV BTW.
I am finished for now-goodbye!

Monday, September 29, 2003

Monday September 29, 2003

What exciting things can we discuss today? How about some more about Sheb Wooley? I was riding out to my client's house today and I thought about Sheb. He wrote the theme song for Hee-Haw by God and Purple People Eater! I thought "Right now, somewhere in the world somebody is watching Hee-Haw". That's a great thing for a songwriter to have a song that gets played multiple times a day all over the world.

Maybe someone from the Taliban has a pirate satellite and is watching Buck and Roy right now. Rumor has it that Saddam Hussein built a special feed to his T.V. just so he could watch Hee-Haw. I hear he used to beat off watching Lulu Roman in the bathtub!

I went to the doctor today and saw an old friend of my father's. I didn't get a chance to speak but I guess this is what started all this Hee-Haw business.
Will used to be in the Martinez Volunteer Fire Dept with my Dad. The Fire Dept. was a combination social club and fire protection agency. The main emphasis was social club and if they were sober enough to fight fires-good enough.
The MVFD bought a tract of land near Chigoe Creek on Clark's Hill Resevoir for our families to camp and swim. There were several other families that joined the same year. Leon and Jack were the first to buy mobile homes and put them on the lake. We followed soon after that and Will and his family brought their trailer later.
Leon and Jack took it a step farther and built wooden decks so they could grill and drink.
It was an unwritten rule that on Fridays after the cars were unpacked and the kids were off beating each other's asses, the adult children would gather on Leon's deck to drink and tell jokes. There was always a small contingent there and after dark howls of laughter could be heard around the lake. These sessions went on all weekend with milling around time at fourish, full fledged swilling by eight and howls of drunken laughter lasting past midnight.
These sessions went on for years and membership would wax and wane according to who was getting along outside the meetings. Sometimes different families would be on the outs and the respective adult child members would refuse to attend.
One day after Will and my father had both gotten tired of almost mandatory attendance on Leon's deck. Will looked at Dad and said "Why ain't you down at Hee Haw getting some sugar from Leon?" My father mouthed "Fuck You" and they both broke up laughing. I was standing off to the side trying not to bust a gut. From that day on, the sessions on Leon's deck became known as Hee-Haw!
That's all for today folks.

Sunday, September 28, 2003

This is a companion page to Sordid Tales of Augusta, GA and other environs located at the Lower Ellis Street Music Asylum page. For connection to the LEMA page: click here

Sunday, September 28, 2003
Disco Diva has left our dysfunctional work family. She quit because the SC Mental Health system is so fucked up that good people cannot be retained. Took a pay cut and all. She's a good therapist and maybe it's better she quit now than get more burned out and become a shitty therapist. Anyway like Tony Soprano says " What the fuck you gonna do?"

These past few weeks have been in the shitter. Warren Zevon, Johnny Cash and John Ritter died. So did Sheb Wooley. It was the Sept.11 anniversary, my dog had to be euthanized and a good friend of mine is separated from his wife. One of my workmates may have pancreatic cancer and I think this is by far the worst yet. Pancreatic cancer is the bad mutha of all cancer diagnoses. When people hear this they tend to start digging graves and picking out funeral clothes. Anyway, we'll have to wait and see how all this pans out.
All this cancer shit reminded me of a story I heard once and always attributed to Rudyard Kipling. It is called "The Lady or The Tiger?"by Frank Stockton. It seems there was this King who lived in a far off land and he had this hottie daughter. He was trying to keep her from getting laid too soon so he forbade all the boy servants from talking with her. There was the one particular gardener who was also hot and young. The Princess really wanted this boy to tend her garden but she knew she couldn't because of the King. Anyway, one day this hottie gardner was underneath her window and she peeped him out of the corner of her eye. He probably had his shirt off since he was hot and that didn't help. They got to talking and pretty soon the King woke up from his nap and heard them.
He had that boy arrested on the spot and put in the jailhouse. The King also decided that this offense was so bad that the hottie gardner should be put to death. He decreed that the boy should be brought to the town's arena and in front of everybody he would have a choice of two doors. Behind one was a beautiful woman who he could marry on the spot and behind the other was a huge, hungry tiger who would eat him alive.
Miss Priss, the princess, found out about this and she didn't like either choice. She also bribed a few guards and found out the King's plan for which door was which. When they brought that boy out in the arena, she moved her right hand slightly and he nodded. He chose the door on the right but did she give him the Lady or the Tiger? Nobody knows.
Thinking about this story related to my friend, I think the choices are more bleak. Behind one door is a coffin and behind the other is Chemotherapy. Which one is it gonna be? Nobody knows.

well enough gloom and doom. I have a few questions of the rhetorical nature. Why is Justin Timberlake still alive? I mean, Johnny and Warren have to go but Justin gets to stay.
Why is Carrot Top alive ? I mean John Ritter has to go and Carrot Top is still carrotting along.
And how about Sheb Wooley? He wrote Purple People Eater and the theme from Hee-Haw. Did he ever date the Britney Spears of his time? Did People magazine ever care what Sheb Woolley wore to the Grammy's
I don't know that he ever went but then I don't know everything.
More later please check back.